Yalm Mandy

by Coley Mixan

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1.
i peeled a number i hopped the plank i tried 2 sing back 2 the doris days i was prescription popped up like violets i was the loudest scrapped knuckle shy-kid i was a velvet couch felt beyond the sort of pleasure of our hollow gods radioactive taste awkward and stupid i howled as face and to taunt my movement there's no subtle uncertainty on a search for some solidarity we can shuttle past those staybridge suites but the internet wets no guarantee these expectations have made a mess of me when all i want is to saunter in the grocery instead of being a heroine compassionately you know...i'm not sure what i'm supposed to be i guess i was doing the best i could under the circumstances it doesn't mean i was always good it doesn't mean i didn't waste my chances so let me peel my number and hop this plank i've got to keep singing for our doris days wanna hop this plank & peel my number get more rest and a lot less slumber i don't know what's to fault for becoming an adult compound leaf compact sins nose to sleeve fist to chin
2.
English is not enough to describe experience post verb shaking people plush but is it all so obvious ? interview let's entertain what is new is not always vain foiled gold--just sit right here hit the sport, let's be sincere ... you know, i can't take it anymore my species is at woman war the most important story's my own i've emailing craigslist for a home now i work in basement trying to attract what is amazement desert runs with my sister i love her more with the distance desert runs with my sister i love her more with every blisters on a desert run with my sister this earth is just for us attack, robust a resonance a temple a residence a dimple it's simple, let's correspond shaking in the wilderness English is not enough to describe experience intertwine, let's enter wisdom down the spine, it is inner vision it's inner vision it's entertainment it is the wisdom of all the ages ... this earth is for all of us is it too obvious? yet we are screwing it up by being at war with my sister-- my sister is the desert my sister is the forest my sister is the mountains my sister is the ocean let's conquer wisdom together
3.
here in the grasslands we keep ecstatic ties to our pockets dirtied knees repent here in full streams tether to tether we really listen voyage now pleasure here in the behind-scenes bend bodies illness we are communal we are forgiveness we want to grow healthy food we want to chase everything we bruise we want to be better participants in this planet with all its life and death with all its life and death i'm dancing until i got no body left we want to heal all our grazing so we can go on the turbulent amazing continue continue cycle cycle circle circle torus torus fold us your mathematics fold us your epidemics mold us gender aesthetics mold us tender athletics
4.
Slush Splash 03:53
grace to gravel grace to grin we've got our shovel we've got our spin we remember delivering a cold december auditorium it's like: to speak covered in our mud we've got to give up exceptionalism we've got to stop being the only species that deserves to go on breathing grace to gravel grace to grin we are a hobble we are a hen invite the beautiful golden sunshine to dazzle energy down our spines the center is the hearth the Hendrix is the earth our legs are the dirt like our minds are worst if we connect to loam the space is our home our perplexing atoned by the gritty rhizomes we've got to give up exceptionalism debating action in auditoriums why we do speak on panels why we do host festivals why do we cut down the grass to look like our neighbors' preference? we want grace to gravel grace to grin grace to unravel all of our earth bound kin
5.
2008shame 01:43
instrumental
6.
Do Not Crush 07:38
here in the dark i play my part a sound surprised to symmetry here with the squeeze i pray to eat but nothing tumbles right into me they hid the clue in the crumbling wall a space to let go and be who i am what's there to do by the shimmering All the mystery is deceptive yeah i play my roll like deep grimy soul running through trees on my days off it used to be a hell of an act to distance yourself from nature now it seems the trees and i are strangers and i'm licking packs of new agers be grateful for what you have like an eagle that i'll never be spread my wings, try to sing do not crush me, do not crush me, do not crush me United States Separated pain All that I watch on vinyl Cut it still regret Record and cassette I am the righteous, entitled but when will i feel vital? if we can't keep the rope off our necks we jump together over the cliff come what may to the usa i scream until i cannot resist i purchase what's over my fist they buy out what shouldn't exist so fresh so clean so cool...here's a receipt here in the light i play my plight echoing gentrification with or without the film maker's doubt my art is just stagnation shouldn't i be happy that i can have an online personality? shouldn't i be happy that i don't have to live near my family? shouldn't i be happy that i can swipe left or right for matrixes? shouldn't i be happy that the best style is to be a delicacy? do not crush do not crush do not crush me i want to be happy
7.
there's got to be some electric puss when i fear the shakes and pounded bust that crinkle around the wholly sound Loose wrists bang up desperate bile i ask father not to wander the grocery aisles when i just want to hold his hand when i am young and trembling...oh... what sort of body needs a balm? what sort of question raises calm? he collapses as if sort made of sand water-blasted and computed disband there's got to be some sort of reconciling mustard jars in the fridge who can afford the expense shit? well i guess i can now that we put him in the ground the streets without strangers are barren car alarms and weeping dogs barreled along i lie myself into egotistical pieces Mandy, all candy, all diseases Father, all water, all policing Eric, windswept, all singing Mother, all others, all lifelines--all lifelines! We are tied to be tied to be tying now the world's all electric dying a high school joke's eclectic vying... Oh father don't leave me grocery buying Oh father don't leave me behind there's got to be some electric puss when i fear the shakes and pounded bust
8.
CHOW 08:37
I’m a ready-made, mechanical procedure Like mutable occasion: a breather I pause—to inhale In the clause of my tale And wow, we write it down! O, Generations applaud my sloth But is it all that I got? I don’t know! I’m over determined and overstuffed in the slippery syntax of my gruff Langston Hughes used to call it design But now it’s really possible for us to waste our time Involve yourself in the mess then accommodate the rest Resist yourself at the front of your tongue! You’ve got to Disrupt Everything you’ve ever thought…it sure is a lot! It’s preauthorized Anticipated demise It’s a mutable occasion Of our frustrations! Detangling symbolism In the colors of our prisms You know we’ve been entertaining ourselves with these lies ...oh my! The word—a book! Who’s got that spool of tape? The vice—yet a look! hot, cooled...sedate? It’s a revelation just to try to make it frightening I am lightening! I am lightening! I am lightening! I am myself only when I’m doubtful and I’m distracted By the solidarity they are forcing down on me Like a sentence with structure, intimate vocabulary I'm springing commonality between you and me Is it an excess of doubt and distraction? But you know that I am laughing! I am laughing, I am laughing, I am laughing? and simply punctuated? When I boil myself down into ascension I will rise up into what is essential
9.
Here running distance I find my pleading Under caught resistance A reprise of my feelings Tendril ever knotted In the gut like a geode Whether I am wanted She skips my body home Break it open Haunt the center Grandmother’s tropic Source unhindered Split the crevice New crescendo She is heaven She is shadow Shadow like a Shadow I watch the moon late at night and realize I am full of life Even when I am full of strife // I know she loved me But now it's worthless Because the distance keeps us unholy I feel nothing... yet I want to give her my all... But there is no resistance in my heart Patriarchy falls apart when I give it to my art When I try not explain what is going on in my head again Again I fear distance Even though as I witness song Relationships dissolve into nothing Cause she's all I wanted my whole life To wake up with her body next to mine like coffee and sunshine... Why has that slipped from grip? What has she slipped from grip? The distance is mirroring... ...I am not here ...I am trying to not ...not trying to ...trying not to here
10.
2009shame 03:14
11.
tiny isotope hung off her rope peeling holy weavers paper magnet cries super pluto skies poisonous poses weather that we breathe cackle hollowed trees as a joy filled fungus we should be, shouldn't bees forgotten sorcery how many humbling lifetimes? read another book creative spook i am so speckley leisurely i want to feel connection between my toes learning how the rocks and plants grow I need nothing more than the space between my breath and the knowledge i've always had birches bend sassafras i pocket leaves of grass no queerness but existence wiggle and simply sag outer space feelings lag when i pretend to be exceptional i am no exception i am just creation
12.
we all have different versions of what this is i am squeezing sharper right under my lid my god what you must think of me we all have varying sources of what is refined i am looking worse than i feel--work is unkind my god what cancer pains your bones to dancing we all weep in the shifting of shapes my life is life and life is change my mom my dad my uncle my aunt all humans now i feel so let down by myself and the reactions that i have to missing fear and missing fun and virtual turmoil that makes me forget people actually suffer from this shit that spirals down my spine and brain what people pelt and what people trade what people learn to whip what people learn to shade my gosh i must be dealing drugs what humans feel and what humans bury what humans cash in for what humans carry my gosh i must be healing this crud light for light dark for dark i reprise how I left my mark centuries ago cancer for cancer death for death i am the dancer of my footed thread
13.
2010shame 00:54
14.
now i...i remember little brother up to his knuckles in the water and i...i was whispering sister-- you've gotta help me out gotta pull him up out of here in the bungalow on the hillside i was praying for the buffalo i was struggling i was reaching but brother still slipped down into the whirlpool ... ... you are the one like a mule kicking and spitting up the dust cause every single muscle has to pull the moment closer until you've got it mastered under your control cause the hope's in the hoping as the go continues going where redemption is redeemed by the dreamer's ever dreamed
15.
o! circadian 04:31
oh sylla-trust my circadian humorous humus oh comedian how will we learn to be laughing when all our rhythms are off again? oh dirt-disgust my esophagus this earth seems to get more populous as the species drift more homogenous why do humans claim our dominance? oh feminine divine my arrival will you bless us with the will of survival we mean more renewal less recycle we mean less circle more spiral oh syllabus my circumstance weaving wicker by wicked chance what ideologies at impasse bloodsport is such a male demand
16.
O! Nebraska 08:09
O! Nebraska I’m basking in ya The korn, the kaktus and the kolache O! Nebraska How will you answa (answer) To the pataphysics of prophecy? O! Nebraska I’m not Willa Cather I can’t describe the source you gleam O! Nebraska Why do I miss ya When you once neglected me? O! Nebraska I’m basking in ya The korn, the kaktus and the kolache O! Nebraska How will you answa (answer) To the pataphysics of prophecy? O! Nebraska I’m not Willa Cather I can’t describe the source you gleam O! Nebraska Why do I miss ya When you once neglected me? O! Nebraska! O! O! Nebraska The korn, the kaktus and the kolache O! Nebraska! O! O! Nebraska I’m waiting for you to dance with me Curvature, the Platte is flat I speak lit up, in panicked attack I've never plowed to just expose Where in darkness that prairie grows Sure I've been jealous and angered Turned nature into plaster What's relic in relic, culture for a cultivar ? What blossoms in a desert will always wither to the water
17.
2011shame 03:37

about

recorded by coley in a basement in seattle between may-july 2017

thinking about lost connections to the loam

credits

released August 1, 2017

coley mixan on guitar, keyboard, drums, percussion, vocals, bass & lyrics.
mixed by coley mixan

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Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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