Yalm Mandy

by Coley Mixan

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recorded by coley in a basement in seattle between may-july 2017

thinking about lost connections to the loam


released August 1, 2017

coley mixan on guitar, keyboard, drums, percussion, vocals, bass & lyrics.
mixed by coley mixan


all rights reserved



Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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Track Name: These Expectations Have Made a Mess of Me
i peeled a number
i hopped the plank
i tried 2 sing back
2 the doris days
i was prescription
popped up like violets
i was the loudest
scrapped knuckle shy-kid
i was a velvet
couch felt beyond
the sort of pleasure
of our hollow gods
radioactive taste
awkward and stupid
i howled as face
and to taunt my movement

there's no subtle uncertainty
on a search for some solidarity
we can shuttle past those staybridge suites
but the internet wets no guarantee
these expectations have made a mess of me
when all i want is to saunter in the grocery
instead of being a heroine compassionately
you know...i'm not sure what i'm supposed to be

i guess i was doing the best i could
under the circumstances
it doesn't mean i was always good
it doesn't mean i didn't waste my chances
so let me peel my number
and hop this plank
i've got to keep singing
for our doris days
wanna hop this plank
& peel my number
get more rest
and a lot less slumber
i don't know what's to fault
for becoming an adult
compound leaf
compact sins
nose to sleeve
fist to chin
Track Name: desert runs (miss her more with the dista ce)
English is not enough
to describe experience
post verb shaking people plush
but is it all so obvious ?

interview let's entertain
what is new is not always vain
foiled gold--just sit right here
hit the sport, let's be sincere ...
you know, i can't take it anymore
my species is at woman war
the most important story's my own
i've emailing craigslist for a home
now i work in basement
trying to attract what is amazement

desert runs with my sister
i love her more with the distance
desert runs with my sister
i love her more with every blisters
on a desert run with my sister
this earth is just for us
attack, robust
a resonance
a temple
a residence
a dimple
it's simple, let's correspond
shaking in the wilderness

English is not enough
to describe experience
intertwine, let's enter wisdom
down the spine, it is inner vision

it's inner vision
it's entertainment
it is the wisdom
of all the ages

this earth is for all of us
is it too obvious?
yet we are screwing it up
by being at war with my sister--
my sister is the desert
my sister is the forest
my sister is the mountains
my sister is the ocean
let's conquer wisdom together
Track Name: Here in the Grasslands
here in the grasslands
we keep ecstatic
ties to our pockets
dirtied knees repent
here in full streams
tether to tether
we really listen
voyage now pleasure
here in the behind-scenes
bend bodies illness
we are communal
we are forgiveness

we want to grow healthy food
we want to chase everything we bruise
we want to be better participants
in this planet
with all its life and death
with all its life and death
i'm dancing until i got no body left
we want to heal all our grazing
so we can go on the turbulent amazing
fold us your mathematics
fold us your epidemics
mold us gender aesthetics
mold us tender athletics
Track Name: Slush Splash
grace to gravel
grace to grin
we've got our shovel
we've got our spin
we remember delivering
a cold december auditorium
it's like:
to speak covered in our mud
we've got to give up exceptionalism
we've got to stop being the only species
that deserves to go on breathing
grace to gravel
grace to grin
we are a hobble
we are a hen
invite the beautiful golden sunshine
to dazzle energy down our spines
the center is the hearth
the Hendrix is the earth
our legs are the dirt
like our minds are worst
if we connect to loam
the space is our home
our perplexing atoned
by the gritty rhizomes
we've got to give up exceptionalism
debating action in auditoriums
why we do speak on panels
why we do host festivals
why do we cut down the grass
to look like our neighbors' preference?
we want grace to gravel
grace to grin
grace to unravel
all of our earth bound kin
Track Name: 2008shame
Track Name: Do Not Crush
here in the dark
i play my part
a sound surprised to symmetry
here with the squeeze
i pray to eat
but nothing tumbles right into me
they hid the clue
in the crumbling wall
a space to let go and be who i am
what's there to do
by the shimmering All
the mystery is deceptive
yeah i play my roll
like deep grimy soul
running through trees on my days off
it used to be
a hell of an act
to distance yourself from nature
now it seems the trees and i are strangers
and i'm licking packs of new agers
be grateful for what you have
like an eagle that i'll never be
spread my wings, try to sing
do not crush me, do not crush me, do not crush me
United States
Separated pain
All that I watch on vinyl
Cut it still regret
Record and cassette
I am the righteous, entitled
but when will i feel vital?

if we can't
keep the rope off our necks
we jump together over the cliff
come what may
to the usa
i scream until i cannot resist
i purchase what's over my fist
they buy out what shouldn't exist

so fresh so clean
so cool...here's a receipt
here in the light
i play my plight
echoing gentrification
with or without
the film maker's doubt
my art is just stagnation
shouldn't i be happy
that i can have an online personality?
shouldn't i be happy
that i don't have to live near my family?
shouldn't i be happy
that i can swipe left or right for matrixes?
shouldn't i be happy
that the best style is to be a delicacy?
do not crush
do not crush
do not crush me
i want to be happy
Track Name: grocery aisles
there's got to be some electric puss
when i fear the shakes and pounded bust
that crinkle around the wholly sound
Loose wrists bang up desperate bile
i ask father not to wander the grocery aisles
when i just want to hold his hand
when i am young and trembling...oh...
what sort of body needs a balm?
what sort of question raises calm?
he collapses as if sort made of sand
water-blasted and computed disband
there's got to be
some sort of reconciling

mustard jars in the fridge
who can afford the expense shit?
well i guess i can now
that we put him in the ground
the streets without strangers are barren
car alarms and weeping dogs barreled
i lie myself into egotistical pieces
Mandy, all candy, all diseases
Father, all water, all policing
Eric, windswept, all singing
Mother, all others, all lifelines--all lifelines!
We are tied to be tied to be tying
now the world's all electric dying
a high school joke's eclectic vying...
Oh father don't leave me grocery buying
Oh father don't leave me behind
there's got to be some electric puss
when i fear the shakes and pounded bust
Track Name: CHOW
I’m a ready-made, mechanical procedure
Like mutable occasion: a breather
I pause—to inhale
In the clause of my tale
And wow, we write it down! O,
Generations applaud my sloth
But is it all that I got?
I don’t know!

I’m over determined and overstuffed
in the slippery syntax of my gruff
Langston Hughes used to call it design
But now it’s really possible for us to waste our time
Involve yourself in the mess
then accommodate the rest
Resist yourself at the front of your tongue!
You’ve got to Disrupt
Everything you’ve ever thought…it sure is a lot!

It’s preauthorized
Anticipated demise
It’s a mutable occasion
Of our frustrations!
Detangling symbolism
In the colors of our prisms
You know we’ve been entertaining ourselves with these lies
...oh my!

The word—a book!
Who’s got that spool of tape?
The vice—yet a look!
hot, cooled...sedate?
It’s a revelation just to try to make it frightening
I am lightening! I am lightening! I am lightening!
I am myself only when I’m doubtful and I’m distracted
By the solidarity they are forcing down on me
Like a sentence with structure, intimate vocabulary
I'm springing commonality between you and me
Is it an excess of doubt and distraction?
But you know that I am laughing!
I am laughing, I am laughing, I am laughing?
and simply punctuated?

When I boil myself down into ascension
I will rise up into what is essential
Track Name: Grip Running Distance
Here running distance
I find my pleading
Under caught resistance
A reprise of my feelings
Tendril ever knotted
In the gut like a geode
Whether I am wanted
She skips my body home
Break it open
Haunt the center
Grandmother’s tropic
Source unhindered
Split the crevice
New crescendo
She is heaven
She is shadow

Shadow like a Shadow
I watch the moon late at night and realize I am full of life
Even when I am full of strife
I know she loved me
But now it's worthless
Because the distance keeps us unholy
I feel nothing...
I want to give her my all...
But there is no resistance in my heart
Patriarchy falls apart when I give it to my art
When I try not explain what is going on in my head again

I fear distance
Even though as I witness song
Relationships dissolve into nothing
Cause she's all I wanted my whole life
To wake up with her body next to mine
like coffee and sunshine...
Why has that slipped from grip?
What has she slipped from grip?

The distance is mirroring...

...I am not here
...I am trying to not
...not trying to
...trying not to here
Track Name: Cackle Hollowed Trees
tiny isotope hung off her rope
peeling holy weavers
paper magnet cries super pluto skies
poisonous poses
weather that we breathe
cackle hollowed trees
as a joy filled fungus
we should be, shouldn't bees
forgotten sorcery
how many humbling lifetimes?
read another book
creative spook
i am so speckley
i want to feel connection between my toes
learning how the rocks and plants grow
I need nothing more than the space between my breath
and the knowledge i've always had

birches bend sassafras
i pocket leaves of grass
no queerness but existence
wiggle and simply sag
outer space feelings lag
when i pretend to be exceptional
i am no exception
i am just creation
Track Name: cancer4cancer
we all have different versions of what this is
i am squeezing sharper right under my lid
my god what you must think of me
we all have varying sources of what is refined
i am looking worse than i feel--work is unkind
my god what cancer pains your bones to dancing
we all weep in the shifting of shapes
my life is life and life is change
my mom my dad my uncle my aunt all humans now
i feel so let down by myself
and the reactions that i have
to missing fear and missing fun and virtual turmoil that makes me forget
people actually suffer from this shit
that spirals down my spine and brain
what people pelt and what people trade
what people learn to whip what people learn to shade
my gosh i must be dealing drugs
what humans feel and what humans bury
what humans cash in for what humans carry
my gosh i must be healing this crud

light for light
dark for dark
i reprise
how I left my mark
centuries ago
cancer for cancer
death for death
i am the dancer
of my footed thread
Track Name: the hidden bungalow mystery
now i...i remember
little brother up to his knuckles in the water
and i...i was whispering
you've gotta help me out
gotta pull him up out of here

in the bungalow
on the hillside
i was praying for the buffalo
i was struggling
i was reaching
but brother still slipped down into the whirlpool

you are the one
like a mule
kicking and spitting up the dust
cause every single muscle
has to pull the moment closer
until you've got it mastered under your control
cause the hope's in the hoping
as the go continues going
where redemption is redeemed
by the dreamer's ever dreamed
Track Name: o! circadian
oh sylla-trust my circadian
humorous humus oh comedian
how will we learn to be laughing
when all our rhythms are off again?
oh dirt-disgust my esophagus
this earth seems to get more populous
as the species drift more homogenous
why do humans claim our dominance?
oh feminine divine my arrival
will you bless us with the will of survival
we mean more renewal less recycle
we mean less circle more spiral

oh syllabus my circumstance
weaving wicker by wicked chance
what ideologies at impasse
bloodsport is such a male demand
Track Name: O! Nebraska
O! Nebraska
I’m basking in ya
The korn, the kaktus and the kolache
O! Nebraska
How will you answa (answer)
To the pataphysics of prophecy?
O! Nebraska
I’m not Willa Cather
I can’t describe the source you gleam
O! Nebraska
Why do I miss ya
When you once neglected me?
O! Nebraska
I’m basking in ya
The korn, the kaktus and the kolache
O! Nebraska
How will you answa (answer)
To the pataphysics of prophecy?
O! Nebraska
I’m not Willa Cather
I can’t describe the source you gleam
O! Nebraska
Why do I miss ya
When you once neglected me?
O! Nebraska! O! O! Nebraska
The korn, the kaktus and the kolache
O! Nebraska! O! O! Nebraska
I’m waiting for you to dance with me

Curvature, the Platte is flat
I speak lit up, in panicked attack
I've never plowed to just expose
Where in darkness that prairie grows
Sure I've been jealous and angered
Turned nature into plaster
What's relic in relic, culture for a cultivar ?
What blossoms in a desert will always wither to the water

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