Yalm Mandy 2

by Coley Mixan

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about

all sounds recorded in a basement in Seattle – April, May & June 2018
Coley Mixan performs all bass, guitar, piano, synthesizer, vocals, lyrics, drums and percussion on Yalm Mandy 2. recorded and edited by Coley Mixan.

for more information on Coley and their music check out:

coleymixan.bandcamp.com
facebook.com/coleymixan
Instagram: @astro.ooze

credits

released June 7, 2018

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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Track Name: i'll leave the haven
across the distance
i echo resistance
against all that i should be
i live through percussion
wait for that big rush then
slump before i'm tiring
the usual complaint
because i ain't what i ain't
ointment on another rug burn
squeeze through my center
i tilt and surrender
witnessing the seasons turn
i've always wanted life
i've always wanted life
to be for the living
so what will be persisting
in my soul
when this body dies?

across the universe
everything registers
to dance in the same tone
it's like my mother's hum
it's like your father's drum
nobody leaves alone
because the leaves lead us home
shaking on their branches
yes the leaves lead us home
because they know the Truth is fractions
of the whole...
what happens to this soul
when this body dies?

relentless, percussive
all i attempt bleeds
trying out the best of me
it's increasingly challenging
to resign what you try to tightly control...

here in the darkness yeah i'll make no sharpness
simply shapes pointed at desire
and with all this scraping i'll leave the haven
just so you will stay inspired
to be the very best you already are
to free the very peak of what you love
to be the very best you already are
to free the very peak of what you love
Track Name: o i sense 2
nerves! i finally feel that feeling i've been suppressing
curves! i kindly keel that creeping i've been vexing
interest i would guess but it doesn't mean i'm not a mess
visual i would pull but it doesn't meant i'm not a mouthful
i am an adult but i don't understand how it happened
i'm at fault for never letting myself pay attention
to the current moment the swelling atonement
with all of this controlling of the lives we think we should have
of lives we think we should have
but we never let ourselves dance
or feel the feelings that keep us breathing
i haven't been my self in years
far too afraid of all of my fears

o i sense so much wrong in the world
i am genderless, i am absurd
i sense so much needing to change
i wake up another gruff morning to strut
and love others with all my guts
here and now i will change

nerves! i finally feel that feeling i've been suppressing
curves! i kindly keel that creeping i've been vexing
interest i would guess but it doesn't mean i'm not a mess
visual i would pull but it doesn't mean i'm a mouthful
i'm just another queer trying to gain what's sheer
the mirror has been needing windex for a long, long time
it's clearer but the cleaning will always start with my mind
and my soul
no more capitol
with all this control
of the lives we think we should have
Track Name: Doris Spray
doris the model
doris strikes out
whether its lawful
whether its slouched
we're always marching
toward the earth
appointment canceled
anointed birth
doris the spy
doris gets a job
patriarchal lies
sensory still lobbed
in the air in the fire
does it matter
when we expire?
love thy neighbor
woman hater
roll the dice
and explain later
doris the mother
doris hits hollywood
whatever is othered
whichever is good
doris troublemaker
doris togetherness
in the month of madness
we bite our fists
doris cover girl
doris spends a dime
burn the world
one tree at a time
burn the world
one soft belly at a time
soft belly over rice


action needed upcoming changes
red clay slit heated for all the regions
put on your best attire don't make mistakes
if you glance back you'll disintegrate

doris spray
Track Name: be/be Groovy
i found a postcard from Krista stored in tupperware
it made me feel a mystic -- pledging friendship snares
Deep down it's sharper, as i'm living happily
if the picture is from Marfa i know that i could breathe
once upon a stripe plowing out our heights
what people weave our lives?
a tapestry of times shimmering out before
i snap the lid back on another decade
before emotions reach the surface
of my faux polished facade
can i appear peculiar
in my own reflection
well i'm must a mystic that's missed it
i'm spinning out
i'm plowed flat
i'm spinning out
i've plowed my whole life flat
i don't even know where i am from anymore...

you can be anything that you want
you can say anything that you want
but you still curl up into your little ball at night

i will leave you to your wild galloping
I am sorry that i am holding you once again
for so long
I am in the mood to be forgotten my friend!
i know appear peculiar
in my own reflection
but i've got to get to know myself before i can find the right direction
i'm just a tapestry of times...
Track Name: Wheat By America
i said it's cold
it's cold and milky like poets promised it would never be
why i do even bother with money
saving up pockets filled ribboned boloney
if there's ever enough for me
i benefit from the colonies
build a well with clean water
if it's supple, it's supple, it's slaughter
if it's subtle, it's subtle, it's charter
grocery aisles destroyed by outernet
tipping toes through the internet
what we kill we eat
instead of nourishing

c'mon c'mon breathe like America
c'mon c'mon breathe like America
c'mon c'mon wheat by America
c'mon c'mon wheat by America
we buy America
it's a miracle
Track Name: cold body
air pulses with dandelions
the data tower embraces me
hug holly when she's crying
build out community
i betray the home of the home run
well i ain't electron spun
what does it mean to touch
and why do men love AI so much
if women had voice
a truly flexible voice
how would my body now be informed?
every breath of abuse and fear
forms my spine
devouring the light
like a crystal mine
well it's all crystal crunch
what does it mean to touch
if women had a body
a truly fleixible body
how would my voice now be informed?
every breath of courage and life
informs my thoughts
Track Name: i ask him on the difference
nectar off the highway
what's this fake war we're spinning?
a sign painted peaches
we devour fuzzy drippings
i ask him on the difference
and why we keep on dying
yeah its always man that's killing
fruit trees and spiders
its always man that's grieving
the olive branch and tigers
what's this big bomb we're dropping?
why do my taxes murder life?
nectar off the highway
the last of its kind
i ask him on the difference
he said thats not the plight

i deny denounce
all the violence that surrounds
i will bare the labor
of what it takes to praise her
the sacred earth
living death living birth
Track Name: I was a Hoarder (Summer Sneaks pt. 2)
you said you liked my ring but really it was my sister's cotton candy suprise
there's certain sneaks that remind me of finding you the first time in this life
at the airport with your Prince-stickered case
I stared at watermelon melting paper plates
You asked me not to call you Lori but Colette
I tied up my sugar-shoes with laces of glory sweat
We got in the van the company rented for cheap
I tried to pretend you weren't glancing at me
I was just a little kid with a mouthful of permissions
I wasn't ready for meeting another weaving woman
I wasn't sod I wasn't soil I certainly wasn't symphony
not yet

i was a hoarder
i was afraid
you were a mother
you were a maid
i never bothered
you never came
Summer sneaks
Sneaking up on my shame

I touched the earth and remembered its my tomb
fourth of july out on another video shoot
you wore floral pants and dipped your thumbs in strip mall water
told me stories of what you wished for your father
gave me a jar of seashells and smashed avocados
you said you hoped it would remind me of your home
fireworks never compared to that magic 8 ball moment
i shook vigorously cause I could not hold it
I always feared I would never see you again
now its fear that sets laughing
it's stupid the way i loved you instantly
without acknowledging you probably never felt the same

i was a hoarder
i was afraid
you were a mother
you were a maid
i never bothered
you never came
Summer sneaks
Sneaking up on my shame
Track Name: am i still trying to be my best?
what sort of longing do i stare at
in the void of my phone..out bus windows
am i still trying to be my best
on a wednesday i'm such a disco
wonderful soul may i feel how sad
you drip down the grass, decaying faith
you're 53 and i am what had
to instagram an instant of shame
the colors looked nice
you were alive
before the cancer set in
before the fires arrived
the shadows did dance
and i had to snap
the sort of glowing
that i can't kidnap
what sort of beauty do i stare at
at 3am when i realize i should care less
because i care so much
because i care too much
because i care so much
because i care too much

truth doesn't make its bed on its own
so if you want a little flowing, better put on a show
i slick my hair back as if its made of wax
truth loves to dance its own circumstance
the earth is so special to me
but how i can reverse this disease?
the earth's no different than any other mass
so how can i learn to love and give back?

what sort of longing do i stare at
in the void of my phone...between coffee shakes
it's a call to action and not fantasy
maybe i'll commune responsibility
all of this checking no message received
i know you pass'd on but i still believe
the goal of our soul is to denounce
all the troubles we keep in our mouths
i lay down to stretch my body out
i haven't relaxed in so long

truth doesn't make its bed on its own
so if you want a little flowing, better put on a show
i slick my hair back as if its made of wax
truth loves to dance its own circumstance
the earth is so special to me
but how i can reverse this disease?
the earth's no different than any other mass
so how can i learn to laugh? when everything dissolves so fast?
Track Name: Infield Lush (Drag Safety)
anthem sports
infield drag
we heard the courts
we held the rag
cream high cream
lush on lush
you say we're running
from what's scared of us
i wear the robes
discard the gear
fashion dirt
will soon disappear
Brit told me I needed peace
Before anyone could be safe with me
Safe with me
Are you safety?
Saved to be
Propriety
too much weight
too much trim
reach the base
touch the rim
i know, i know it's all dippin dots
sell it low sell it hot
i know, i know it's dippin dots
keep it poll let it blot


you say we're running low
you say we're running low
you're making all the dough
Track Name: Poppies
i've got poppies on my mug
opium is opium
i'm too weak to resist that tongue
but i've got poppies just like my grandma
in the kitchen our undersold labor
regret the habits on this wax paper
kolaches turn into funeral craters
but i've got blisters just like my grandma
i've got sister's hair in bags
tiny poems of her death
i'm too weak to still speak on breath
but i got a garden just like my grandma...
i'm growing food just like my grandma

but i speak into my hands
soaking up some compassion
training my satisfaction
cause i do not know
how to make it slow
i'm just a stranger in a basement
leaping for my amazement
running my own estrangement
i praise the earth for life
i praise the earth for death

i've got saturn on my jacket
i'm just an astro-physic faggot
i always wanted to live in outerspace
but i've got duties just like my grandma
detroit obsession on my knees
i draw the outline and release
i want to beg you pretty please
cause i've got to climax just like my grandma
Track Name: Yalm Mandy Too
i've got a little sister
she was born after me
but she is a better sister
than i think i will ever be
there is calmness in my Mandy
there is calmness in her steps
she observes the world
like she observes the breathe
dynamic
it is flowing
it is movement
it is time
it is everything that i can not
handle in my own strides...

i've got the sound waves memorized in the back of my mouth
it's all gonna unfold the way it is supposed to...
there is no pressure
from the outside
or the inside
because you are you

cause if you want to know a Yalm Mandy too
believe believe
it is
it is
true
you carry your own tunes here

you got it!

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