Yalm Mandy 2

by Coley Mixan

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1.
2.
across the distance i echo resistance against all that i should be i live through percussion wait for that big rush then slump before i'm tiring the usual complaint because i ain't what i ain't ointment on another rug burn squeeze through my center i tilt and surrender witnessing the seasons turn i've always wanted life i've always wanted life to be for the living so what will be persisting in my soul when this body dies? across the universe everything registers to dance in the same tone it's like my mother's hum it's like your father's drum nobody leaves alone because the leaves lead us home shaking on their branches yes the leaves lead us home because they know the Truth is fractions of the whole... what happens to this soul when this body dies? relentless, percussive all i attempt bleeds trying out the best of me it's increasingly challenging to resign what you try to tightly control... here in the darkness yeah i'll make no sharpness simply shapes pointed at desire and with all this scraping i'll leave the haven just so you will stay inspired to be the very best you already are to free the very peak of what you love to be the very best you already are to free the very peak of what you love
3.
o i sense 2 04:45
nerves! i finally feel that feeling i've been suppressing curves! i kindly keel that creeping i've been vexing interest i would guess but it doesn't mean i'm not a mess visual i would pull but it doesn't meant i'm not a mouthful i am an adult but i don't understand how it happened i'm at fault for never letting myself pay attention to the current moment the swelling atonement with all of this controlling of the lives we think we should have of lives we think we should have but we never let ourselves dance or feel the feelings that keep us breathing i haven't been my self in years far too afraid of all of my fears o i sense so much wrong in the world i am genderless, i am absurd i sense so much needing to change i wake up another gruff morning to strut and love others with all my guts here and now i will change nerves! i finally feel that feeling i've been suppressing curves! i kindly keel that creeping i've been vexing interest i would guess but it doesn't mean i'm not a mess visual i would pull but it doesn't mean i'm a mouthful i'm just another queer trying to gain what's sheer the mirror has been needing windex for a long, long time it's clearer but the cleaning will always start with my mind and my soul no more capitol with all this control of the lives we think we should have
4.
5.
Doris Spray 07:31
doris the model doris strikes out whether its lawful whether its slouched we're always marching toward the earth appointment canceled anointed birth doris the spy doris gets a job patriarchal lies sensory still lobbed in the air in the fire does it matter when we expire? love thy neighbor woman hater roll the dice and explain later doris the mother doris hits hollywood whatever is othered whichever is good doris troublemaker doris togetherness in the month of madness we bite our fists doris cover girl doris spends a dime burn the world one tree at a time burn the world one soft belly at a time soft belly over rice action needed upcoming changes red clay slit heated for all the regions put on your best attire don't make mistakes if you glance back you'll disintegrate doris spray
6.
be/be Groovy 04:54
i found a postcard from Krista stored in tupperware it made me feel a mystic -- pledging friendship snares Deep down it's sharper, as i'm living happily if the picture is from Marfa i know that i could breathe once upon a stripe plowing out our heights what people weave our lives? a tapestry of times shimmering out before i snap the lid back on another decade before emotions reach the surface of my faux polished facade can i appear peculiar in my own reflection well i'm must a mystic that's missed it i'm spinning out i'm plowed flat i'm spinning out i've plowed my whole life flat i don't even know where i am from anymore... you can be anything that you want you can say anything that you want but you still curl up into your little ball at night i will leave you to your wild galloping I am sorry that i am holding you once again for so long I am in the mood to be forgotten my friend! i know appear peculiar in my own reflection but i've got to get to know myself before i can find the right direction i'm just a tapestry of times...
7.
i said it's cold it's cold and milky like poets promised it would never be why i do even bother with money saving up pockets filled ribboned boloney if there's ever enough for me i benefit from the colonies build a well with clean water if it's supple, it's supple, it's slaughter if it's subtle, it's subtle, it's charter grocery aisles destroyed by outernet tipping toes through the internet what we kill we eat instead of nourishing c'mon c'mon breathe like America c'mon c'mon breathe like America c'mon c'mon wheat by America c'mon c'mon wheat by America we buy America it's a miracle
8.
9.
cold body 05:22
air pulses with dandelions the data tower embraces me hug holly when she's crying build out community i betray the home of the home run well i ain't electron spun what does it mean to touch and why do men love AI so much if women had voice a truly flexible voice how would my body now be informed? every breath of abuse and fear forms my spine devouring the light like a crystal mine well it's all crystal crunch what does it mean to touch if women had a body a truly fleixible body how would my voice now be informed? every breath of courage and life informs my thoughts
10.
nectar off the highway what's this fake war we're spinning? a sign painted peaches we devour fuzzy drippings i ask him on the difference and why we keep on dying yeah its always man that's killing fruit trees and spiders its always man that's grieving the olive branch and tigers what's this big bomb we're dropping? why do my taxes murder life? nectar off the highway the last of its kind i ask him on the difference he said thats not the plight i deny denounce all the violence that surrounds i will bare the labor of what it takes to praise her the sacred earth living death living birth
11.
you said you liked my ring but really it was my sister's cotton candy suprise there's certain sneaks that remind me of finding you the first time in this life at the airport with your Prince-stickered case I stared at watermelon melting paper plates You asked me not to call you Lori but Colette I tied up my sugar-shoes with laces of glory sweat We got in the van the company rented for cheap I tried to pretend you weren't glancing at me I was just a little kid with a mouthful of permissions I wasn't ready for meeting another weaving woman I wasn't sod I wasn't soil I certainly wasn't symphony not yet i was a hoarder i was afraid you were a mother you were a maid i never bothered you never came Summer sneaks Sneaking up on my shame I touched the earth and remembered its my tomb fourth of july out on another video shoot you wore floral pants and dipped your thumbs in strip mall water told me stories of what you wished for your father gave me a jar of seashells and smashed avocados you said you hoped it would remind me of your home fireworks never compared to that magic 8 ball moment i shook vigorously cause I could not hold it I always feared I would never see you again now its fear that sets laughing it's stupid the way i loved you instantly without acknowledging you probably never felt the same i was a hoarder i was afraid you were a mother you were a maid i never bothered you never came Summer sneaks Sneaking up on my shame
12.
13.
what sort of longing do i stare at in the void of my phone..out bus windows am i still trying to be my best on a wednesday i'm such a disco wonderful soul may i feel how sad you drip down the grass, decaying faith you're 53 and i am what had to instagram an instant of shame the colors looked nice you were alive before the cancer set in before the fires arrived the shadows did dance and i had to snap the sort of glowing that i can't kidnap what sort of beauty do i stare at at 3am when i realize i should care less because i care so much because i care too much because i care so much because i care too much truth doesn't make its bed on its own so if you want a little flowing, better put on a show i slick my hair back as if its made of wax truth loves to dance its own circumstance the earth is so special to me but how i can reverse this disease? the earth's no different than any other mass so how can i learn to love and give back? what sort of longing do i stare at in the void of my phone...between coffee shakes it's a call to action and not fantasy maybe i'll commune responsibility all of this checking no message received i know you pass'd on but i still believe the goal of our soul is to denounce all the troubles we keep in our mouths i lay down to stretch my body out i haven't relaxed in so long truth doesn't make its bed on its own so if you want a little flowing, better put on a show i slick my hair back as if its made of wax truth loves to dance its own circumstance the earth is so special to me but how i can reverse this disease? the earth's no different than any other mass so how can i learn to laugh? when everything dissolves so fast?
14.
anthem sports infield drag we heard the courts we held the rag cream high cream lush on lush you say we're running from what's scared of us i wear the robes discard the gear fashion dirt will soon disappear Brit told me I needed peace Before anyone could be safe with me Safe with me Are you safety? Saved to be Propriety too much weight too much trim reach the base touch the rim i know, i know it's all dippin dots sell it low sell it hot i know, i know it's dippin dots keep it poll let it blot you say we're running low you say we're running low you're making all the dough
15.
Poppies 03:54
i've got poppies on my mug opium is opium i'm too weak to resist that tongue but i've got poppies just like my grandma in the kitchen our undersold labor regret the habits on this wax paper kolaches turn into funeral craters but i've got blisters just like my grandma i've got sister's hair in bags tiny poems of her death i'm too weak to still speak on breath but i got a garden just like my grandma... i'm growing food just like my grandma but i speak into my hands soaking up some compassion training my satisfaction cause i do not know how to make it slow i'm just a stranger in a basement leaping for my amazement running my own estrangement i praise the earth for life i praise the earth for death i've got saturn on my jacket i'm just an astro-physic faggot i always wanted to live in outerspace but i've got duties just like my grandma detroit obsession on my knees i draw the outline and release i want to beg you pretty please cause i've got to climax just like my grandma
16.
17.
i've got a little sister she was born after me but she is a better sister than i think i will ever be there is calmness in my Mandy there is calmness in her steps she observes the world like she observes the breathe dynamic it is flowing it is movement it is time it is everything that i can not handle in my own strides... i've got the sound waves memorized in the back of my mouth it's all gonna unfold the way it is supposed to... there is no pressure from the outside or the inside because you are you cause if you want to know a Yalm Mandy too believe believe it is it is true you carry your own tunes here you got it!

about

all sounds recorded in a basement in Seattle – April, May & June 2018
Coley Mixan performs all bass, guitar, piano, synthesizer, vocals, lyrics, drums and percussion on Yalm Mandy 2. recorded and edited by Coley Mixan.

for more information on Coley and their music check out:

coleymixan.bandcamp.com
facebook.com/coleymixan
Instagram: @astro.ooze

credits

released June 7, 2018

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Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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