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I was a Hoarder (Summer Sneaks pt. 2)

from Yalm Mandy 2 by Coley Mixan

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lyrics

you said you liked my ring but really it was my sister's cotton candy suprise
there's certain sneaks that remind me of finding you the first time in this life
at the airport with your Prince-stickered case
I stared at watermelon melting paper plates
You asked me not to call you Lori but Colette
I tied up my sugar-shoes with laces of glory sweat
We got in the van the company rented for cheap
I tried to pretend you weren't glancing at me
I was just a little kid with a mouthful of permissions
I wasn't ready for meeting another weaving woman
I wasn't sod I wasn't soil I certainly wasn't symphony
not yet

i was a hoarder
i was afraid
you were a mother
you were a maid
i never bothered
you never came
Summer sneaks
Sneaking up on my shame

I touched the earth and remembered its my tomb
fourth of july out on another video shoot
you wore floral pants and dipped your thumbs in strip mall water
told me stories of what you wished for your father
gave me a jar of seashells and smashed avocados
you said you hoped it would remind me of your home
fireworks never compared to that magic 8 ball moment
i shook vigorously cause I could not hold it
I always feared I would never see you again
now its fear that sets laughing
it's stupid the way i loved you instantly
without acknowledging you probably never felt the same

i was a hoarder
i was afraid
you were a mother
you were a maid
i never bothered
you never came
Summer sneaks
Sneaking up on my shame

credits

from Yalm Mandy 2, released June 7, 2018

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Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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