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scared of family (RIP)

from Return 2 Sport by Coley Mixan

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lyrics

Little Walnut, you’re going home
Sit around through nothing at all
i wish i had taken the job
But i was scared of my family
singing to that anxiousness
as i always doing there...
Queer sunset painted onto walls
neon lights are so empty now
And i miss their pink so much
i now i am still alive

So know i don’t know if i’m gonna make it
So many songs and never a winner
Another download code in my pocket
I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to them
When I only want to hear my mother’s voice
& the community of warmth
That keeps me on the hero’s edge
Death's privilege

If i had died young like him
Everyone would appreciate me
Not that I want to cause that grief
but who's the one with their picture on the wall?
is it a life--or a memory?

So know i don’t know if i’m gonna make it
So many songs and never a winner
Another download code in my pocket
I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to them
When I only want to hear my mother’s voice
a community of warmth
that welcomes me like a hero
in the the way they never did when he was living
right here

i know it's just thoughts but
i will never be remembered
as noble as the one that died at 23
Little Walnut, you're going home
Sit around through nothing at all
i wish i had taken the job
But i was scared of my family

credits

from Return 2 Sport, released February 29, 2020
coley mixan - 12 string guitar, drums

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Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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