junior varsity

by Coley Mixan

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about

a pre-album for the 2019 record, Return 2 Sport. recorded in coley's basement bedroom between February 2019-May 2019. about the earth, our bodies and trying to get back in shape for sports.

credits

released May 27, 2019

coley mixan is all guitar, vocals, lyrics, drums, percussion, bass, production, keyboards, mallets and synthesizers heard on this record.

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Coley Mixan Seattle, Washington

ol' coley gonna build a sod house.

coley mixan is a multi-instrumentalist + visual artist creating sonic pieces that resonate on the same frequency as microwaved bananas. 🍌🍞🍰

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Track Name: Flesh (Holographic)
i'm feeling ripped off
this fever pissed off
i wish we could talk
without going so hawk
before it all falls
pitch black dark scrawls
i'm cut a thin-think
i'm just a fake mink
//////////////////////////////
i'm feeling ripped off
friendship cock blocked
trying to twist off
all of these fag knots
all us of bad thoughts
rip through my muscles
i'm not a struggle
but how do i hustle?
when your severed love is still a match to match?
another shrug to let the snatch hatch ?
where i healed on your basement couch
bad habits curse current make outs
i rub my temple like i can't break my heart anymore than you already have
worship at temple like i can't shake my god anymore than you already smashed
like you already smashed
like vitamin water
you cost too much to taste like shit
and i've finally had enough of it!

(you cost too much!)

pull me up and out of your back pocket
i didn't work this hard to be holographic
pull me in and down from your victims
i didn't play this way to bow for your system
i didn't know, know, know
i didn't, no! no! no!

(now where do we go?!)

i'm feeling so ripped up
come on baby, i wish that we could fuck
i never knew you like i wanted to know you
i never touched you like i wanted to touch you
when it was all groovy, then it was all gravy
i sensed the fall out well before you escaped me
i paid the bills, i read the note
i tried to keep my hands deep inside my throat
...
but when you've got a knuckle on the knife it's hard not to stab...

(it's hard not to stab, keep it BACK, man!)

pull me up and out of your back pocket
i didn't work this hard to be holographic
pull me in and down from your victims
i didn't play this way to bow for your system
i didn't know, know, know !
i didn't, no! no! no!
i didn't want to know!
i didn't go, go, go!
leave me ALONE~!!

(now i'm only playing for the GOAL!)

we tried to keep it in our discussions of percussion
but now i can't wait, can't wait for the rhythm ...
i stumble like it's midnight at the greatest party of my life
and the room is full of people mortified
by the veil that prevails over what we dance as truth

[[[guitar solo bolo tie]]]
Track Name: Sacred Tongues (Love Yourself)
met my brother down in omaha
speaking sacred tongues
we both leaned into our spirals
harmonized to song
made a reservation to cool off my nerves
swimming in the river, it was more than i deserved
i will always remember where our Big Sky hovers
even in the darkness home is in that magic color

you do you and i'll do me
discovering the self is true bravery
if i give myself the time i offer to pointless jobs
will i ever find the rhyme that is in my song?
will i ever find the rhyme that is waiting for my song?

met my sister on sunset strip
plagiarized DNA
'til the moment our egos tripped
we never Doris Dayed
drove down the back roads to crossroads cafe
not a single shadow on the ground, every feeling was safe
every dance we made was outer space
every dance we made was inner space
we've grooved until we couldn't...

you do you and i'll do me
discovering the self is true bravery
if i give myself the time i offer to pointless jobs
will i ever find the rhyme that is in my song?
will i ever find the rhyme that is waiting for my song?

now if i'm lonely, i try to feel alone
and, when i'm only, i remember i'm my own

met my brother down in omaha
speaking sacred tongues
we both leaned into spirals
you do you and i'll do me...
i gave myself the time of my life (what did i miss?)
Track Name: Yex Message 11:11
the variant is everywhere,
it's everywhere i look.
the patron saint of everywhere
is hidden in a spook--hidden!

send a yex message
11:11
a list of devices
conquer or leaven?
take the bread back in
you gotta try it
take the bread back in
you gotta try it
we could go swimming
live a little living
before i get lost in these gluten divides
or red speckles that dance through your eyes
send direct message
communicate leverage
send direct message
communicate leverage
what was said then
came in a packet
yeah, what was said back then
used to go laughing
with the delight of being alive!

am i tossed or am i glowing?
am i awkward or flowing?
everything feels the same to me now...
whether i am lost or i am found!
Track Name: Junior Varsity ⚾
well i haven't changed my password in ten years
it's just some crazy numbers and my fear
of being referenced on the spot
can't go dancing dot to dot
cause it's all about the hangout online or off
i'm running from another bubbly water cop
in the whitest shoes made junior varsity
buffaloes to spider web security
log on baby, rub it all around
two day shipping is the highest ground
gotta save ourselves! we gotta save! gotta save ourselves! gotta save! (gotta make the play)

wooden risers set the scent
of wasted evenings gone to sweat
i am junior varsity
weakened strength belongs to me

i am the distance that never gets closer
coach put me in i wanna be the closer
oh help me god -- i am a loser

well i haven't changed my password in ten years
it's just some crazy numbers and my fear
of being referenced on the spot
can't go dancing dot to dot
cause it's all about the hangout online or off
i'm running from another bubbly water cop
in the whitest shoes made junior varsity
buffaloes to spider web security
log on baby, rub it all around
two day shipping is the highest ground
gotta save ourselves! we gotta save! gotta save ourselves! gotta save! (gotta make the play)

right bench left out
there's no ecology
it's outside of me!
there's no ecology

wooden risers set the scent
of wasted evenings gone to sweat
well, i am junior varsity
weakened strength belongs to me
yes, i am junior varsity
i'm living in the big, in the big city
all these groovy nights, all these wasted days
i'm trying to get in to make my play
Track Name: Global Warming (I Don't Talk to Priests)
I get job alerts from google trying manifest
money that i've never, ever even possessed
no desire to play that self made game
i just want to sleep and to celebrate
when it's complicated i am right on the thumb
and when i simplify rock and roll's too dumb
i can't read, i can't sleep, i set my eye on the screen
i can't dance, i can't leap, i set my steps on concrete...

who am i, yeah let's chat about it
actually, i don't care your opinion
who i am is all surrounded
actually, i don't dare the liquid
here we go, once again
try get back beginning of ends
here we are, douse the sins
try shake mountains, hit the pins
you can be most anything
a butterfly or a bee sting
i can be moist everywhere
in the sieve or on the snare

who am i, let's reconcile
actually i don't talk to priests
who i am is all the while
my friends go skating for relief
glasses surfboard on the sheets
like visuals they soak my need
i'm wetter as she touches me
it's better if she touches pink
we don't live in the 70s
but earth first or you're a disease
no we don't live in the 70s
but our whole species burns the trees

who am i, i kissed the soul
actually, i fingered it too
who i am is rock n roll
with a little bit of coley glue
i love being an uplifter
i love how fast fast food delivers
i love probiotics in microaggressions
nothing confessional about professions
there's nothing confessional about professions !!

...

deep diving down into my dreams of a better personality
i tape my blue moon set to the window
remembering what i wanted then...i can't have it with these bad habits
and all of my doubts that crush me inside and out
i want to light a candle so i can move a little bit forward
whatever desire desires is not what i've been bored of
yes, to love and to pull and to live for us all!
it's all that i've caught
keeping my prayers

who am i, let's reconcile
actually i don't talk to priests
cause who i am is all the while
my friends go skating for relief
my glasses surfboard on the sheets
like visuals they soak my need
i'm wetter as she touches me
but we don't live in the 70s
earth first or you're a disease
as our species burns the trees
no we don't live in the 70s
but here it is global warming...
GLOBAL WARMING!!
Track Name: I ❀️ U Drunk Driver (demo)
i love you, drunk driver
i love you drunk
i love you, drunk driver
going down with you and you know i'd shallow
i love you, drunk driver
road side memorials touching your shadows
i love you, drunk driver
splitting Nebraska right in half
i love you, drunk driver
nothing more contagious than your laugh

asymmetrical vision
are you afraid of my womb?!
i know we've reached our limits but
what spirals through the room
well it spirals under big prairie skies
it's the crisis of our human lives
put it in park! put your lips on mine!
such a messed up car, such a messed up ride/life

i love you, drunk driver
i love you, drunk
i am going down with you and you know i'll shallow
come on baby--just one more bottle!
(road side memorials touching our shadows)

asymmetrical vision
are you afraid of my womb?!
i know we've reached our limits but
what spirals through the room
well it spirals under big prairie skies
it's the crisis of our human lives
put it in park! put your lips on mine!
such a messed up car, such a messed up ride/life
(come one drunk driver, gonna live tonight!!)

i love you, drunk driver!
i love you sunk

i love you more than you'll ever know
i love you more than alcohol
o drunk driver!!

come on baby get in the car--it's gonna be alright!
i'm gonna drive you home tonight!
i'm gonna drive us home!

i love you, drunk driver.
Track Name: promise me
promise me you're not going anywhere
living out on the edge of a double dare
i want to dance with you and you alone
match our steps to the stone

live like a kite deep in the atmosphere
cut all my ties until i disappear
but i want to float with you and you alone
catch our colors through soul

promise me you're not keeping straight
living out on the edge of feeling great
yeah i want to laugh with you and you alone
hands warmed inside of all our jokes

i will learn to love you
as the tide continues
Track Name: Ten Spider Women
slipping around, building frozen water
dipping on down deep into their daughters
i am not one to repeat myself
mumble into the shoulders i know best
o i know best, better than you!

standing upon the constant edge of decision
i am nothing but these ten-spider women
black holes are simply just misunderstood
creative destruction on licks of their hood
the birth rate booming into tall climate pains
someday i'm sure i will miss all this rain

remember the god that speaks straight to the body
for cleverness is never left wanting
downloads of WaterfallNatureSierra
the brilliance of packaging is what i fear
slipping around, building demon towers
dipping on down deep into their waters
i am a daughter now

standing upon the constant edge of decision
i am nothing but these ten-spider women
black holes are simply just misunderstood
creative destruction on licks of their hood
the birth rate booming into tall climate pain
someday i'm sure i will miss all this rain
Track Name: πŸŒŠπŸ‘“
if you really want to cocktail the truth
then you better start looking inside you
if you really want to fight off depression
then you better yield some god damn weapon

i was made (4) loving: internal and externally
i was born 4 hunting
to decay as i bleed
Track Name: HumorHome (Nebraskan Ocean)
is it humorous? a catalog of failures i mispronounce
are we dangerous? mineral swamp of feelings i cloud
my body's stiff with landscapes i've been avoiding
to go outside is to protect everything i'm destroying !
i am always off key, waiting to be something so queer
desire desires nothing but what i've designed in fear
...to relieve...what i re-live...

give us that natural
sunset of disaster
wet rocks slip gradual
rhythms of the master
lost my glasses to the ocean
before i could see what i was looking for
Nebraska becomes the ocean
abused by my agriculture
(all i ever wanted was a planet that loved me like i lived on it...)

is it humorous? a catalog of failures i mispronounce
are we dangerous? mineral swamp of feelings i cloud
my body's stiff with landscapes that i've been pretending!
i want to give back, i want to live, i never want to be ending!
i know that i believe that we are infinity !
i know that i believe that we are infinity !
so how can i be protecting everything i am expecting?
when I just keep on spinning...keep on spinning...
oh come on! let me connect with you
i want to disrespect with you
i know i am dangerous when i don't trust
the pleasure of being alive!

give us that natural
sunset of disaster
wet rocks slip gradual
rhythms of the master
lost my glasses to the ocean
before i could see what i was looking for
Nebraska becomes the ocean
abused by my agriculture

just douse me in my rivers of pain
i know someday the universe will explain 2x
(if you press your ears close enough you'll get the secrets)

is it home? is it humorous?
Track Name: improv: bench πŸ€ warmer
eh eh eh eh eh eh
ah ah ah ah ah ah
tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu
eh eh eh eh eh eh
ah ah ah ah ah ah
oh oh oh oh oh oh
tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu

i tried not to have it
i wanted it all so bad
i tried not to stab it
i try not to feel...i never wanted to meet you in the middle, i never wanted to court you. when i fall, i fall.
Track Name: Violence is Cadaverous
it's hard to believe the way the flesh is heavy
when you love her you love her careful stressing
you felt the hunger, so rotten and so full
despite the plunging we lay the surface dull
it is a shack, it is an oil lamp
it is the tract of menstrual cramps
it's easy to unsleeve the day our flesh is steady
when you love her you love her slightly dreading
o when i love her i love her where i'm ready

the sod is sticky when you're wet with space
i ask your always for nothing tucked in grace
summer is summer when it is a summer
to dance too far until the sky is over
violence is cavernous, i feel inside your sex
lay out in happiness
all speckles on the specks
violence is cavernous, i feel inside your sex
lay out in happiness
our speckles on the specks

this workless work of fabled crones, this work is work of fabled crones

2x

i never wanted any of this violence
but i use my voice to break the silence
tarot cards on sparrows decks--
i seek the comfort i will not regret

((mmm...
this love is so chaotic
falling into my own shit again...
well i love every part of you
but i die for what i want to do
i am more than this now!
i am just the strike of a rod!
i wanted more than i ever had!
i've ruined who i've ever been!
i'll ruin who i'll ever bend
falling in love again
this is the shit i know:
everything i've ever wanted to decay
she is day by day
she is the bang...
oooo)
Track Name: Younger Mother
i can feel my fingers numb in the middle of the grit
younger mother is myself squaring father's temperament
never fold my laundry straight
never butter on both sides
stretch a body into weight
stretch a sentence into lies
climb no mountains, lick no sculpture
gardens never help me wander
everything i desire seems so expensive
i hope i will choose love over devices
but its not concrete to depend on our triceps
cause what i'm always dealing is not what i'm supplying

touch the mirror, it's perfection
nothing fearing our correction

i can feel my elbows numb in the middle of the grease
younger sister is myself watching both our fathers cheat
never play vortex for keeps
never better on both sides
stretch into the soil's dreams
stretch your farmland into tides
i will body everybody i will magnetize
i will bother everybody i will magnetize
i will body everybody lifting up our eyes (into that deep night sky)

younger mother is myself
younger mother

(younger mother, where do you wander?)

never fold my laundry straight
never butter on both sides
stretch a body into weight
stretch a sentence into lies
climb no mountains, lick no sculpture
gardens never help me wander
everything i desire seems so expensive
Track Name: taking advice from a prophecy
guess who's singing a song for your city?
whether or not you're with me...
what the fuck was i thinking
taking advice from a prophecy?
some branches snooze too long, little girl

the jack-pine loses her height
and i avoid the look in your eye
our hearts fail us in demanding
mutual mutations in our branding
of who it is we want to be
singing tales of love that leaves
when you tell her of your defeats
ignoring emails of her bossing
some managers snooze too long, little girl

guess who's singing a song for Seattle?
whether or not I am comfortable
what the hell was i wishing
when we were drinking and driving?
taking advice from a prophecy
i hope your family kidnaps me (i hope they kill me)

i failed to interpret them all
the head dresses, depressed lessons...
i lost my best friend at the shore
the missed glances, shadowed vexes
Track Name: High πŸ”‘ (Low πŸ”‘ Underneath)
if you want to puncture money
you better take to drinking honey
a clash of civilizations
i know better than to lose my patience
rhythm it coils outside me
i can't read what's so depressing
power's more than privileged greens
meditations on emergencies
walk past the life on the streets
the side walk cracks ecology
why yes, i work in libraries
i work just to lose my teeth
i work so somebody can fix me
no books for all these bookish creeps!
no books for all these bookish creeps!

i've got to learn to let go of anxiety
sunshine / sunshine i desire light bending right into my own!

dance with me
dance with me
luxury
luxury
time is so joyfully
movement so spatially
i am nothing but what i am denying
attraction is stronger than gravity, gravity (2x)
gravity, gravity--it grabs at me!

if you want to puncture money
you better take to drinking honey
a clash of civilizations
i know better than to lose my patience
rhythm it coils outside me
i can't read what's so depressing
power is more than privileged greens
meditations on emergencies
walk past the life on the streets
the side walk cracks ecology
i work in libraries
i work to lose my teeth
i work so somebody can fix me

dance with me--it's luxury! i've got to let go of all of my anxiety

dance with me
dance with me
luxury
luxury
time is so joyfully
movement so spatially
i am nothing but what i'm denying
attraction is stronger than gravity, gravity (2x)
gravity, gravity--it grabs at me!
Track Name: i call my mom & tell my mom that i miss her mom
every word i'm speaking now
it comes out, it spills out, it runs out
i want to share my secrets with the crowd
i want to live timbered sighs through sound
i gotta take a walk just to clear my spine
with all distance of the gods and vines
beat the resistance that i hold inside
when i know joy will unfold and multiply
found a photo in a library book
and now the image sings like a prayer


astro messages dance along my nerves
telling me to love everything I serve
if i am enough i am enough to grow
a farm a stream banana volcano
every role model is eating rolls
one of these days i'll explode
cause my body takes too many blows
attempting to be these skin and bones
i call my mom and tell my mom that i miss her mom

i love my mom i love myself
i want to be like no one else
i love this earth i love all life
i want to be joyful (peacefilled and wise)

in the secret desire of my heart
everyone i love is succeeding
in the secret desire of my heart
everyone i love is who i'm meeting
Track Name: imrpov: bench 🍦 warmer ii
you try to keep up with the truth
you, try it you try it
you try to keep up with the truth
you bite it you bite it

(i know it's all the rush...i feel it in the ground)

....


...
Track Name: Fertilize Gardens
paperless as paper does
i've got to transfer my funds
straight across our hangout
lady boss : the lady clout
oh she want bigger a hand
tattoo stripped of the demand
greater plains, wild ass
get it off in the grass
get it on with lots of snacks!

ans serif -- cross your t's
dot your i's and rip your jeans
sign the check lick the bill
lots of flowers now distilled
clean your house humidify
dance your fire through the night
friction slick with danger bribes
oh she got that magic eye
o she got them thunder thighs
yeah she got that crafty spine
i catch creation in her mind

no i never wanted
to fertilize any of them gardens...
no i never wanted
to fertilize any of them gardens...
incense and increase
left for dead by no unease
i've got to fertilize all my dreams:
build a house on a house on a dead end street
build a house on a house on a dead end street
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Track Name: CBD Soda 😰
CBD soda, west coast life style
trying to lose weight, running 5 miles
finally met cute girl, i feel love
thickest wool socks, that baby's a glove
vote long and often, buy amazon
repave the pavement and play lots of songs
CBD soda, west coast never ends
who lives in cities, they live with their friends

get it hard, get it fast
how'd you like to take a snack
shove it down in your pack
nibble the salt, smile a crack

2x

"little lady, rock n roll..."
i am so tired of all these bros
left out of places we can't afford
all this white music makes me so bored
left out of places we can't afford
all this white music makes me so bored...
Track Name: improv: coach, put me in! 🍨 (cut from the team)
put me in coach (i'm ready)

i want to be a winner to buy my mom some dinner
coach, put me in, i wanna play!
i want to be a winner so i can buy some dinner
coach, put me in so i can play!
you know i'm a star

no! i only care about sports !
put me on the field / out on the court
i've been stretching and lifting some weights
someday i'll be one of the greats
yeah i made the cut, made junior

BUT I KNOW I'M STILL A WEAKLING !!

...i wake up and i think about wining
is it enough? i'll never know
but i can only make myself aim for the goal
Track Name: melt another pipe
sit back, have a conversation
you want to learn how to speak your patience
you got to error all your statements
before youth turns into wasted time
melt another pipe
protect our water rights
a bandit with no crime
a multiverse of sine
you break the power high
you're singing for all our lives
the song's eternal ties
to cycles we've forgotten
the feeling felt spot on
the feeling felt spot on

what's natural but nature?
all this nomenclature is wading around
i connect to creatures i'll never understand
trying to create with five pointed hands
American sunrise
at varying heights
what fields announce the mountains
and run rivers of thighs

run rivers though our legs
trying to escape
we have no other way to survive

we have given birth to a house in the rain
we have given birth to a text
we have established desire through pain
we have collapsed into sex

(what's nature but this blood in my legs
and my brain on fire
i'm not sure what else i can stand
living inside the wire
oh my god, i let them all die!
it's easier than trying to survive
it's convenient, you know? to only think about my ego...)
Track Name: What Happens to Love We Let Go Of?
what happens to love that we let go of?
do we still dance on other dance floors?
I 'member poems and pedaling
I felt it was for all ways
I felt it was for always

our names almost rhymed
with the gold of a trophy
and in the trading of time
I still hope you're free
I still hope you're free

what happens to love that we let go of?
are we still friends in other forests?
i hope you know you're a contender
for the whole of what/who you are
Track Name: if i am πŸ₯ˆ then let πŸ₯ˆ be my πŸ₯ˆ
scratches on glasses
is it too much to hope for may?
I'm starched red running
as the wind whips (echo my face)
i'm too relentless if i travel my thoughts
neurons neurotic -- i deliver the loss
there is a belly and a moan and a shiver
look over valley and touch stone 2 your river
i am reluctant to appease what is pleasing
nothing is fucked up -- if it's fucking, it's breathing

what sterile secret is a pocket for critters?
i am love before i love all that shimmers
life is true beauty when it is let alone to live
if i am human then let human be what i forgive
if i am hustling then let hustle be what i permit
if i am crazy then let crazy be my craziness...

syrup on stir-ups
is it too much to hope for rain?
another desert dance until i can resonate
counted ten spirals rolling eyelids 2 clouds
my grammar poorer than pouring of shrouds
being myself converts these ashes to eagles
defeat all sadness in the ego's cathedral
there is a belly and a moan and a shiver
look over valley and touch stone 2 your river
i am reluctant to appease what is pleasing
nothing is fucked up -- if it's fucking, it's breathing
if i'm slouching, then i know what i'm keeping, if i'm backed out, then i know that it's keeping
it's all in the quarry, the shroud
if i am crazy then let crazy be my craziness
if i am lazy then let lazy be my laziness

counted ten spirals rolling eyelids 2 clouds
my grammar poorer than pouring of shrouds
being myself converts these ashes to eagles
defeat all sadness in the ego's cathedral
there is a belly and a moan and a shiver
look over valley and touch stone 2 your river
you know you've got a river inside of yourself!
so come on baby, let it all hang out!!
Track Name: improv: i spoke 2 the voice that said it was me
i am deciding
how to arrive
i want to be alive!
now i sense
the end
i spoke to the voice that said it was me
in the sky outside of how i arrived

you believe? that's it all falling away?
well i'll try not to let that touch too much of my mindscape
the way that you looked when you were walking away
well, i'll try not to be so seattle about this
when i am feeling alone on the bus ride home
when i am feeling like it's all gonna explode

now i keep it apart
now i try to make art
now i open my heart
to the source
i'm struggling...but i'll pretend i'm not.
yeah i'm struggling
yet i'm not...
it's all
i will trust it

and now i fall away
if i could remember
those concrete days
i'd wake up and shiver
well, ignore the feelings, it's alright...
me questioning myself... HARD BREAK/DEATH

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